Now, as you know Bugmas is the massive holiday I celebrate because I'm a toddler and my parents can't stop me. It starts on Hollween and runs straight through my birthday on January 9th. That's basically three months of nonstop good times and candy/gifts for me! (Oh, and I guess I have to give Crimefighter stuff too now that she exists.) 

Anyway, right in the middle of Bugmas, some other people have their Christmas celebration and I so I got about a million gifts this year. Many of them were duplo blocks. I have a sneaking suspicison Daddy picked those up mostly because he likes to play with them, but that's terribly assumptive of me.  But of most interest to you, my blog readers, I got a digital camera! No, really. I got a camera especially for my little hands and now I am a photo journalist. Under the cut are some pictures I took Christmas day. I'm no blackwell , nor even Chuck Wendig, but I am cuter. 

( Photo Heavy )

On request from a friend, my mom passed the keyboard over to me so I could tell you all about my summer now that Fall is falling. (That's what Fall does, right? That isn't some kind of complicated grown-up code for the time of year its okay to kick the cats down the steps, right?)

So, I spent a lot of time with my Nana and my Poppop it my Gigi's house downnashore. This may be a location, or possibly a state of being, I'm a little fuzzy on the details. I know it involves strapping me into my car seat, making me sit FOREVER, and after forever two hours later, I get downnashore.

Which is awesome because I get to eat corn...

( Yum! )
Be afraid of seaweed for no reason...
( Seaweed! Oh NOes! )

And go in a boat with my Nana. Nana is in part Native American, or something like that. You can't hear it in the picture, but she was singing the traditional Shawnee boating song "Colors of the Wind" by Elton John.
( No naked cartwheels, I promise. )

Also, this summer I questioned conservative values...

( Imagine There's No Hell Below )

And BECAME A CREATURE OF THE NIGHT!! FEEL THE TERROR!
( ROAR, ZOMBIE!  )

Picture heavy nonsense below the cut.

( Internet, You Have Been Warned )

So my vocabulary has expanded by leaps and bounds as the 'flwers' bloom and the 'fluflies' flutter in the air with their lovely multicolored wings. 'Nana'n'Popop's 'Ouse' is always welcoming with 'chclit' and 'cookies.' Life is pretty grand. I'm saying whole sentences, including Mom and Dad's favorite 'I uv you!'

We went on a walk outside.
( No Pictures Please! )

Mommy wrote a fictionalized story about the kinds of mess I can make based on these pictures.

( I'm an Artist! )

Unless you heard it somewhere else, in which case, you heard if from me second.


I am filled with joy because apparently, mom and dad have finally lost their collective minds and are going to go to the store and buy me a new baby brother or sister! Mom says the baby won't be here until late October, which is kind of a bummer. I hate to think of the poor little bugger stuck in lay-away because mom and dad are too cheap to get 'em out now. Oh well.

Mommy keeps touching her stomach and telling me that's where the baby is. Which is silly, since everyone knows babies come from an unregulated free market economy.

That said, I'm super excited to celebrate the coming of my new cohort! (See picture below.)

( Excited!  )
Because after that, the experimentation can begin! 

( I shall name him or her Bunsen Burner! )
Mommy's feeling sick, so I'm going to go sleep on her in the most uncomfortable way possible. That should help.

With Bugmas finally wrapping up, I have to wonder when MY next holiday is. I heard mommy saying she had a birthday coming up soon. I assume that birthday means I get presents. Right?

That said...

( Here's some Grandparent Service )

Couldn't I just kill you with a look?

 ....And mommy is still trembling with fear.

Two days ago, I discoverd ownership over the word 'mine.'

That's right, everything in the free world now is 'mine.'  The remote in my hand is mine. The toys on the floor near me is mine. The food you are eating is mine. The book you're reading is mine until I take it from you and hand it to Aunt Sara, which is when it becomes hers, but only until I change my mind.

That's right, I is now a grown up! 

Somewhere between trembling and hiding in the front hall closet while weeping, mommy says my attempt to own the universe is my way of establishing boundries. She says when I say 'mine' it's really my way of asking 'mine?' to see how far my ownership of things extend. She says it's good for me when they strengthen my boundries by saying 'no' or expand them by saying 'yes' when it's appropriate.

I think she's silly, I guess she forgets I'm destined to control the world as it's beautiful final Czarina of the Universe. I will also have a poney.

So without further adu, look out world...

( ...I is a Big Girl Now, and you are Mine! )

 Mom keeps saying this curse word. It's pronounced 'deadline' but I think it's spelled T-i-n-a-d-o-e-s-n-t-g-e-t-h-e-r-w-a-y-a-l-l-t-h-e-t-i-m-e.

Suffice to say, I'm not a big fan of that curse world. Also, deadlines apparently make her twitch and have funny crazy time where she spend valuble time on the internet screwing around when she should be facing the tragity at her keyboard. Below are some horrible examples. 

On the bright side, I'm still cuter than LOLcats!

( Memes? I just got down the word 'mama' )

 Today, I am cranky for no clear reason. I might be sick. I might be growing, I might just feel the need to test mommy's patience again. I am obsessed with Aunty Sara and the fact that she isn't up yet is cause for me to throw shit-fits about everything.

Actually, to be honest, that may just be an excuse. I'm sure if Aunty Sara were around I'd find -something- to hound mommy about. I'm talented like that. 

Boy, she better do as I say, too.... Or they'll never find the body....

( Alas poor Popop, I knew him well... )

 I am testing my limits today. Mom is hanging out with me while she tries to get work done. I think her getting work done is silly. So here's some things I've tried to day.

- Painted popcorn with strawberry applesauce. 
- Tried to scale the book shelves, twice.
- Throwing hard plastic things at mom's head because I want her to hold it.
- Demand the lion's share of what ever mom is eating regardless of how much I've had to eat of my own food.
- Dumped apple juice, more than once.
- Hit the cats with things so they can once again prove how much they love me.
- Screamed at mom any time I'm not getting what I want the milisecond I request it even if she is actually in the process of getting it for me.

What can I say? I think it's funny when she grits her teeth and says 'I love you' through a clenched jaw. And just think, I'm not even a terrible two year old for another two whole months!